RD1, VLCD Day 33

Big ole goose egg this morning! I am SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS frustrated. And that was even after I did my every three day bathroom visit...so I would have gained if not for that. I have NO idea why...I added more water yesterday since I am so sick of seeing .2 or .4, I ate an apple and strawberries, had bison (always eat this instead of beef) and chicken, had different veggies, romaine and tomatoes, all the things that I normally do to lose a little more, and NOTHING!
Am I ovulating? Is it not working for me anymore? Don't think it would be that one, since they say if you reach immunity you start getting really hungry and start looking gaunt...

And what sucks even more is that the family has cabin fever, and we are stuck inside again, and that just makes me long for stress eating. I actually dreamed about eating chocolate last night. And there are goodies in the house leftover from our Superbowl party that are calling my name. I might try to take Connor to the movies today just to get out of the house, but that will be possible only if my youngest's school is open and my husband takes him before heading off to work at 10am. I'll also make hubby take all those yummy things to work with him for his branch luncheon today.

I really wanted to be able to do this for the long haul, switching to SL for a month or so before going to P3...but is my body going to let me? I can't take too much longer of being within the same 2 lbs for the last two weeks. Today is measurement day, and Im exactly 1.7 lbs down since last Thursday. I used to lose that in 1 day! I so hope that my measurements show a loss, because otherwise, I'll be really depressed...

I know, this is a journey, its so awesome I've lost 21 lbs, and still, I'm down. Tomorrow will be better. Maybe Ill do an apple day just to trick my mind into thinking Im doing something to get myself out of this rut.

I want to EAT!

Psychologically, that is. You don't know how many times today I almost reached over and had:..., whatever it was that was there, that Connor didn't finish, that was on the counter, or in the frig when I got Kieran's lunch out, or the candy cane on the Christmas tree that I was taking down. It was and is SO HARD not to just mindlessly eat. I never realized how much I eat mindlessly until today. Yes, I try to be mindful when I eat, when I consciously decide to have a meal, I should say. But just those little crumbs lying around, or the pretzel stick that Kieran tries to feed me. Well, I definitely haven't been mindful of those times....

So I'm not hungry right now. Even though all I have had today has been 1.5 liters of water, 16 oz tea, 100gm of chicken, 4 grape tomatoes, 1 grissino breadstick, and an apple. No, the real hunger is in my mind. Telling me I want to eat, I have to eat, what about all the things in the frig that were for me that are still there...OMG! I want to eat when Connor is having a tantrum, when Kieran is screaming. If I didn't recognize it before today, I know now that I am a stress eater. So this diet will be a great experiment. Can I outwit my mind to do what my body needs?

This morning: 189. Gained 2.5lbs loading. Heck of a night last night: full of wine, wit and chocolate chile creme brule. Thanks for the belated birthday night out, girls!