Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Words from Anne Lamont (and me!)

Over these years, my body has not gotten firmer. Just the opposite in fact. But when I feel fattest and flabbiest and most repulsive, I try to remember that gravity speaks; also, that no one needs that plastic body perfection from women of age and substance.

Also, that I do not live in my thighs or in my droopy butt. I live in joy and motion and cover-ups. I live in the nourishment of food and the sun and the warmth of the people who love me.

from My Secret Body

Not matter where you are on this journey to love your body, know that YOU are beautiful and lovable and whole.  You need not change for me, I love you as you are, whomever you are, whatever size, shape, color, or type.  Let the divine light in you shine.

-all me baby!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Gentle she goes

So far so good on my New Years Intentions...Ive been listening to my body, feeding myself well, taking breaks when I need them, and pushing myself when I need to.  Ive been fighting this terrific cold, so Im making sure to take my vitamins, limit sugar, and get lots of sleep, and Im feeling pretty good despite the illness, and TOMs arrival yesterday (one week early, though granted, he was 8 weeks late when he arrived last month).  Ive dropped two pounds since the beginning of the week, and Im hoping my workout schedule (body pump 3 times per week, yoga three times per week, running at least once per week, and swimming once per week) in addition to my better eating keeps the numbers dropping.  I do have 8 frozen syringes and a vial of 5000iu left from my last round (though no more syringes), so I MIGHT try another round this winter, but knowing what my headspace was after the last round, and my striving to be more vegetarian in my food consumption (again, gentle, so not going full steam ahead), I want to see if I can get my body to lose when Im not on HCG.  And find out what that looks like. 
 I want to be a healthy eater all the time, choosing good foods/fuel for my body without worrying about what the scale says (so then I sabotage myself and rebel), and most importantly, I want to stop DIETING and start LIVING ( I know I sound like a Jenny Craig commercial, but its true) !!!!!  I want to stop making excuses and stop lying to myself (ie I was born this way, Im big boned, I wont be able to lose the weight without HCG) .  I am capable of great things and as my body is the vessel that allows me to do those things, it deserves to be treated well. 
I know to do that I need to be prepared and I need to be accountable.  I need to make sure I have heathly things in the house, and that I take the time to make them (no more withering away in the frig!!!!).  I need to have greens in the house at all times.  I need to have quick good food ready for those times when I have no time and Im itching to eat crap.  When my head is telling me to go eat, I need to distract myself and avoid food until my body tells me its time to eat.  I need to pay full attention when I eat and notice and enjoy every bite.  I need to drink at least one glass of water before my meal.  And I need to log my food and exercise so I can keep track of what worked for me (ie feeling powerful, strong, healthly and focused) and what Im too sensitive to or takes me out of balance or causes me to gain.  On the gentle side, I am allowing myself my worst vice, diet soda, so I dont feel overwhelmed (diet soda is bad for me since I have reactions to the aspartame in it), and I will give that up again soon....
Today I have eaten two slices of rye bread (panera) with 3 tbs sunflower butter, 1 piece whole wheat bread (small) with margarine, and a big bowl of brussels, collard greens, bok choy stir fried with garlic and onion.  Im still hungry, but Im going to give myself 15 minutes or so to see if thats my head saying I want to eat more or if Im actually hungry.  I also did an hour of weight training and plan to run later this afternoon.  So far so good...and the foods Im eating (lots of greens, good fats, some low glycemic carbs) are taking away my sugary cravings, so thats wonderful.
This weekend, four yoga classes are on the agenda, and date night with hubby (he doesnt know yet that I will be taking him to our Masters groups annual party after dinner at our favorite restaurant-should be a great time!).  Next weekend I have to teach my first hour long class, and Im freaked out big time!  But I will not allow the stress to overwhelm me or my fear to let me back out of it.
Got any big plans for the weekend?  How are you doing with your resolutions?

Monday, January 3, 2011

Happy New Year!

Here's to everyone that made it through the holidays without gaining an ounce and here's to those of us that upped our weight with luscious treats and now plan to get back on track!

Theres a lot of controversy over whether or not to set New Years Resolutions, as most of the people that do  have a difficult time meeting their resolves and then feel guilty about it, which causes many of us to rebel against our inner compass and maker the situation even worse.

Instead of resolutions this year, I have set intentions: to be open, loving, kind, and gentle.  Not only to and for myself but for all of those people I affect with my words or my actions.

To myself, since I have gained back 20 of the pounds I have lost, and I am having difficulty accepting that, and being ok with it (since thats really the only way the weight will come back off, if I am gentle and loving, otherwise, Ill binge and gain even more).  And also, because almost all of the goals that I set for December to meet while I was on vacation are still on my to do list.   This includes my yoga paper, three class transcriptions, cleaning my office and the basement and the garage, doing a new recipe a day, writing book reviews on all the nutrition books I have in my office/lending library, finding referral partners, and finishing my classwork for IIN distance learning (a program Im auditing).  Im ok with all of it.  Because I was able to spend time with my family, shop for some amazing gifts, meet new people, take lots of yoga, and go to Chicago to visit my family.  I had a great time.  And now Im ready to get back to work.  Who's with me?

I would love to hear some of your intentions or resolutions.  Anyone want to share (that is, if anyone is still out there after my December break.)?

Love to you all...