I want to EAT!

Psychologically, that is. You don't know how many times today I almost reached over and had:..., whatever it was that was there, that Connor didn't finish, that was on the counter, or in the frig when I got Kieran's lunch out, or the candy cane on the Christmas tree that I was taking down. It was and is SO HARD not to just mindlessly eat. I never realized how much I eat mindlessly until today. Yes, I try to be mindful when I eat, when I consciously decide to have a meal, I should say. But just those little crumbs lying around, or the pretzel stick that Kieran tries to feed me. Well, I definitely haven't been mindful of those times....

So I'm not hungry right now. Even though all I have had today has been 1.5 liters of water, 16 oz tea, 100gm of chicken, 4 grape tomatoes, 1 grissino breadstick, and an apple. No, the real hunger is in my mind. Telling me I want to eat, I have to eat, what about all the things in the frig that were for me that are still there...OMG! I want to eat when Connor is having a tantrum, when Kieran is screaming. If I didn't recognize it before today, I know now that I am a stress eater. So this diet will be a great experiment. Can I outwit my mind to do what my body needs?

This morning: 189. Gained 2.5lbs loading. Heck of a night last night: full of wine, wit and chocolate chile creme brule. Thanks for the belated birthday night out, girls!